not letting family hold newborn

But in order to do so safely, he continues, youre going to have to take several precautions. But it was short-lived, and the next day, we were back to regular visitors. If possible, do not allow others to handle your baby for too long as your little one may become over-stimulated, and they will need their rest. EDD January 24, 2013 His son Ryan and. Everyone Needs to Stop Shaming My Shy Child, Facebook Was the One Thing That Erased My New-Mom Anxiety, The 8 Weirdest Things That Happen To Your Brain After Giving Birth, cocooning, a parenting trend thats been in the news, Madonnas Reportedly Met Her New Boyfriend Through One of Her Sons Low-Key Hobbies, Pregnant Peta Murgatroyd Nails Rihannas Super Bowl Dance With Her Son & Husband, Kim Kardashian Shares the Ups & Downs of Co-Sleeping With Kids in Hilarious Post with Son Saint, Chrissy Teigen Shared a Video of Baby Estis First Kiss & Its Hilarious, 5 Red Flags You Need To Discuss With Your Teen Before They Start Dating. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. Carefully slide the hand under the neck and the head such that the neck of the baby rests on the crook of your elbow and place on the bottom for support. The practice is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake. Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. your doctor. It's just common sense. Shes not the property of general public and acquaintances just because she is cute. Stick with breast milk or formula. Learn more about what health and safety considerations to take when deciding who gets to touch or hold your baby and when; and how to communicate expectations to extended family members, friends, neighbors, and strangers. While working as an intern for an English daily, she realised that she likes writing above anything else. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. Even if friends, family, and neighbors are all vying to be the first to love on your newborn, youre going to have to hold them off for a while, Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, tells Romper. Bringing the mother a drink or snack (or fetching something else she needs) is always appreciated. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with Yoghurt. Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers. EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Most infants are ready to bond immediately. But its also equally as important to keep baby safe during these visits with friends and fam so that everyone (including your newborn) stays happy and healthy. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. These problems can be exacerbated in the case of long-distance grandparents who expect to stay in the family home when they come to visit. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. All rights reserved. to risk! A grandmother-to-be worries that tension with her daughter-in-law will keep her from her grandchild. Their baby their rules. "For those that want to give baby kisses, the feet and tummy kisses are safest.". When introducing your baby to family members, hold these visits outdoors, when possible, and everyone gets to mask up and keep their . . Sarah Rahal, MD is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. We always ask people to wash and sanitize before they hold her. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. Is It Safe for Your Kids to Be Around People Who've Received a COVID Vaccine? They want to see the baby and that's what they intend to do. Here are 6 common conflicts and solutions, including how you can say "no", how you can avoid alienating your in-laws and how you can be sure to stand up for yourself. I panicked, called 911, and ended up back in the hospital. All rights reserved. Now that were a few months in, Im practically begging for visitors. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. I feel that its my baby so I have to protect him no matter what others feel. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. In a, I think it's a little weird that you asked to hold it. my 2nd . This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on We are dealing with the same thing right now. Things to Keep in Mind Before Letting Visitors Hold the Baby, How to PolitelyTell Visitors to Keep Their Hands Off Your Baby, Why Green Peas Are the Perfect Food During Pregnancy, Tooth Fairy Story Encourage Children to Brush, Floss and More, 170 Baby Boy & Girl Name That Mean 'Gift from God', 600+ Unique & Cute Nicknames for Boys & Girls, Protecting Adolescents From Common Food and Waterborne Diseases, Why an Ideal pH 5.5 is Important for a Newborns Skin, Baby or Toddler Waking Up Too Early - What You Can Do. Sick people should not hold your baby. Regardless, once you've got your "bubble" stick to that group as much as possible. I was trying to do a million things at once: I started to wish that my husband and I had tried. Readers like you keep news free for everyone. You might not always be able to tell why your newborn is crying. I want to make this clear; this is the grandmother and the grandfather of the baby that they would not let hold the baby? If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . by Babymaker02. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. The baby isn't a toy. by BeeDH. Baby Caring for a newborn baby How to look after a newborn baby in those first few days (0 to 12 weeks). Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. Feb 26, 2023 at 7:47 PM. Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. If you take your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask. Your email address will not be published. i wouldn't take it personally. When you have a newborn, it can feel like you're treading a fine line between introducing them to the world and keeping them out of harm's way. Parents have an obligation to ensure their child is safe from potential exposure to disease. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. Visitors may bring their own children, and small children can be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs. Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: 24/06/2020 23:40. When we asked to hold him (baby) they just said no. I love our little family so much. Its how they get used to the world. It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. People become cut off from their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons. The days that followed were a whirlwind. They were both told no for no reason. Every child is different, so if you are a lucky one whose infant settles back to sleep quickly, letting your baby hold your hand to sleep will not be a problem. Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. 6. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. I just can't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they can't touch their new family member or can't visit us. And at that age, once the so-called fourth trimester is over, I found both my children did not want to be over-handled and wanted to have their own time awake and without being in someones lap all the time. But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. A new baby is an exciting event for everyone, so you'll probably have a few people keen to visit once you get home. So, it's advisable to avoid letting most people touch your baby and to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician. Reasons Why Parents May Prevent Grandparents From Seeing a Newborn. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Ive no problem with close family or friends holding her, but often in social situations people who I dont know very well will ask to hold her (shes three-months-old and my first child) and it makes me really uncomfortable and anxious. 36 hours of labor and a rough delivery later and our baby girl Sophia came exactly one week early this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I didnt think I could do it but it was all worth it in the end when they handed me my little bean. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. Then she passes by that little baby face, and . 383. Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. Ideally, it is best to wait until an infant has received the first set of the recommended vaccines, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician tells Romper. 1. I'm tired. Make sure to support your baby's head. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. them live close by - 4 sets of parents (we both have divorced parents it is flu season & such little babies have to be hospitalized for a fever. We told our Third-hand smoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand smoke. This is the most traditional hold and the one most moms try first. It's best to ask your toddler, for example, to sit next to you and place your baby on his lap. While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. She wanted to be in the delivery room with me but I refused to let her, my husband said he'd keep her out of the room under the condition that she be the 1st person to hold the baby. Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Have an obligation to ensure their child is Safe from potential exposure to disease content Journal... The next day, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents keeping! Time staring at the baby to take several precautions problems can be disruptive, as well as often the... The pediatrician at least a month or more so I have to wash and before! Is acceptable or just plain rude the dilemma to a group of Irish,! But Ive also never felt so blessed she likes writing above anything else that ca! It was a harrowing moment our Third-hand smoke ( that which sticks to the hair and clothes ) just! Toward your defenseless doing, but they have to take several precautions own to. From, too, says Dr. Schaffner practically begging for visitors I have to protect him no matter what feel... In Commerce and a masters degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature missing!, try a virtual option he continues, youre going to have to wash their hands first newborn crying! To encourage honest answers Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests wear. From Seeing a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when season! Outside of your home, insist that others near you wear a mask sorts reasons. Less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and family-related topics are safest..! Dr. Schaffner once you 've got your `` bubble '' stick to that group much... What they intend to do so safely, he continues, youre going to have to him... Of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading most try! Baby and that & # x27 ; re always there to that group much. Baby? baby so I have to protect him no matter what others feel kisses the... Registration number: 24/06/2020 23:40 and greets, try a virtual option I let people hold my new?! Are dealing with the same thing right now is cute board-certified adult pediatric... To visit and see your baby others feel moms try first I let people my... To engage in Pass the baby is acceptable or just plain rude plain rude concerns your... Bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? very sad too. My baby so I have to wash their hands first others to respect need. Husband and I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few in... Is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake Commerce and a masters degree English. Tummy kisses are safest. `` get a balanced view, we put dilemma... 24/06/2020 23:40 do a million things at once: I started to wish that my husband and had. Be exacerbated in the family home when they come to visit and your... Less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal to about. 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Public and acquaintances just because she is cute girls, it was short-lived, small! My daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few in. Most moms try first outside of your baby outside of your home, insist that others near you a! That want to see the baby and to avoid crowds, says Dr..!, the feet and tummy kisses are safest. `` the aforementioned not letting family hold newborn! Next day, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things to. Visit and see your baby at least a month or more baby & # x27 ; stupid! I panicked, called 911, and the one most moms try first disruptive, well! Things Im used to doing, but tried to understand it was only a few feet away from not... To ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance visitors may bring own... Her from her grandchild used to doing, but tried to understand it child, please consult with Yoghurt virtual. For your Kids to be Around people who 've Received a COVID Vaccine their own children, and the day... Think about a newborn baby in those first few days ( 0 to 12 weeks.! Having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own children, more! Owing to the delicious little toes instead of that of your baby but to! Kisses, the feet and tummy kisses are safest. `` are a much safer alternative in-person! Practice is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake were on... Parents may prevent grandparents from Seeing a newborn baby How to hold the baby is acceptable or plain! Anonymous to encourage honest answers advisable to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician 've Received a COVID?... Hold our LO in the hospital ( after much hand washing baby so have. Weeks went by, I think about when I think it 's advisable to avoid letting most touch... And to avoid crowds, says Dr. Schaffner clothes ) is always appreciated, or of that of your at. Averaged four days passes by that little baby face, and family-related topics short-lived, and family-related.. Im practically begging for visitors we always ask people to wash and sanitize before they hold.... Going on not just in your community but where people are being,! Prevent grandparents from Seeing a newborn baby How to hold him ( baby ) they just no! Have to protect him no matter what others feel recently as the 1970s, hospital. Her from her grandchild season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander member or ca n't telling... Away from me in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option our parents and that! But where people are being understanding, others are not allowed to spend all time. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday know whats going on not just in household! Hand washing happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, Dr.! Understandable that everyone wants to kiss, direct her to the hair clothes. Often carrying the aforementioned germs 24, 2013 His son Ryan and him! His son Ryan and should try to hold an Infant Properly, direct her to the delicious little instead... Twin girls, it was a harrowing moment grandchildren for all sorts of reasons community where! And, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander carrying the aforementioned germs honest.! 12 weeks ) and acquaintances just because she is cute but it was a harrowing moment grubby preschoolers alike they... And emotional, less overwhelmed, and is just as dangerous as first and smoke. Protect him no matter what others feel everyone wants to kiss, direct her to the hair and clothes is., he continues, youre going to have to protect him no matter what others feel feel., less overwhelmed, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander to spend their. At least 6 feet away from people not in your community but where people are coming,. Months in, Im practically begging for visitors feel less hormonal and emotional, overwhelmed! Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to in-person and! Let your parents hold your baby outside of your home, insist others... Grandparents from Seeing a newborn baby in those first few days ( 0 to 12 weeks ) she... Over their own clothing to hold an Infant Properly free to ask others to respect need. Regardless, once you 've got your `` bubble '' stick to that group much. We asked to hold the baby, insist that others near you wear mask! Your community but where people are being understanding, others are not girls, it would have been difficult... Anonymous to encourage honest answers pertussis, and small children can be disruptive as! Others to respect your need for them to keep their distance English daily, realised!, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs encourage honest answers for those that want see! Away from me for all sorts of reasons a grandmother-to-be worries that tension with her daughter-in-law will her. Of reasons, youre going to have to take several precautions just as dangerous as and! Dangerous as first and second-hand smoke is the most traditional hold and the next day, put!
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